More, like what doesn’t change after 30? I can think back to when I was in my early 20’s and I would think, “Why is life so hard?” Flash forward ten years, and now I think, “What the hell was my problem back then?”
I’m 31 years old now, married, two kids, two dogs, a mortgage, etc. When I was 23, all I had to worry about was not consuming carbs (Bam! Down 20 lbs. in one month!) Now, I can’t even play Suck And Blow with a wrapped twinkie without getting diabetes. Here’s a compilation of downgrades you can expect after age 30:
Cons (Always start with the bad news first, right?)-
- Lack Of Sleep= Mombie
- Your life and the lives of those around you depend on how strong your coffee is (spiked or not)
- Saggy, dropping, stretched out ______________, ____________, and ______________.
- Grooming? Only on special occasions. Who has time for themselves every.single.day? I’ll tell you who. This Woman did, back when she still had her youth. So, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say…the single, young, and rich have PLENTY OF TIME.
- You start receiving vacuums, toasters, and coffee makers for Christmas…and you like it!
- Furniture excites you. New bedding? Even better!
- Hair and skin? Puberty, is that you coming back for seconds?
- Baby weight to lose? HAHA! Good luck with that! What took you a month to lose twenty pounds before kids, will now take you to a certified plastic surgeon, a few juice cleanses, and removing dairy, sugar, processed food, and carbs (again) from your diet.
- Back pain, poor eye sight, snoring, and frequent night time urination.
- Had a few cocktails? Plan on feeling like death for the next two days.
- Physical, mental, and emotional recovery takes twice as long.
Now, time for some postive vibes on the subject-
- The love you feel for your children is unattainable compaired to all other relationships you have formed in your lifetime.
- Making decisions like an adult has benefits. Benefits to your health and benefits to your wealth. Who knew?
- You have an anxiety attack and consciously decide you will not die, because you already have a Rx for Xanax.
- Once in a blue moon, you have the oppurtunity to go on a “date night” with your spouse. The Grandparents help you out and take the kids overnight. Dinner and a movie perhaps? Wrong! You only make it through dinner because you would rather go home and sleep, instead of falling asleep at the theater. Good choice!
- I’m sure there’s more “Pros” to this list, but I’m hungry and I need to go make a sandwich on gluten free bread.
If I’ve forgotten anything one might or might not look forward to, after turning thirty, please include it in the comments below!